Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
