Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
