is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
