Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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