well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
