Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
