'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Text me some of your sweat
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
