Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
