Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
