So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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