Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize