I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Randomize