Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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