he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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