Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
