Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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