ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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