i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize