OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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