I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
