Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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