so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
