Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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