ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
