Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
