how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
