As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
