just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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