Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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