So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
