so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
What drink are we having for lunch?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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