And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
