We're like a lot better than the average bears
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
