his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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