so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize