thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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