All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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