Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
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