Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
