Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Verdict: uncircumcised.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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