party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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