So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
