the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
