He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
