If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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