I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
