sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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