Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
