Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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