i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Cover your peen. We're going out.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
