I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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