the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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