The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
