As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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