Whod you bang
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
