one two three fourrrrnication!
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
