She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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