ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i came on her dog
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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