I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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