WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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