Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
