"it" just moved
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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