you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
