I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
