I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
