The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
