so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
