he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
